i never really understood your bias against ego shooters, but that's not the point is. the point is, while many, perhaps even most players prefer to see the settlers of catan as a semi-cooperative game, you can win by conquest and warfare (i think you need the knights expansion for that), and it's within the rules, so why not?

i personally perfer cooperative gameplay, too - that's why i play a mmorpg with absolutely no combat in it (www.atitd.com), but there's nothing wrong with a little friendly competition.

the one thing many people have a problem grasping, i think, is that an attack on your avatar, or your catanian city, or your units in a strategy game, is no personal attack on yourself. of course we prefer our units/avatars to survive unwounded, and i admit that i once cried during a warhammer game when my carefully trained and equipped hero was slaughtered by an orc horde, but it's just a game, just fun.

i guess this is because, especially in shooter and strategy games, most grown up players put a lot of emphasis on proper rules of engagement. congratulating your fellow player on their victory (the common phrase is "gg" for "good game"), and realizing that they are not an enemy, but simply another player, helps a lot in having fun while playing.

i guess what i want to say is: take it easy feuerfisch, it's really just a game, and no actual catans get hurt or killed during it ;)